so last night i had a great night.
i laughed with friends (new and old)
theb theres him
he was so shy about putting his arm around me. it was cute
then later we were sitting there and it hit me i dont really know how to stictly be the girl in the relationship. i didnt know what to do with myself. so i let him direct me

theres a huge downside though. time is limited from the start. i mean he goes home in 6-12 months D:

i wanted distraction.
its all i wanted.
why the hell did my distraction have to be a nice guy?
oh thats right
because i seem to fuck everything up anyway.

sing a little louder
plant a tiny seed
nurture it with stories
pick out all the weeds

slowly it will grow
with everything it needs
water sun and bugs
then laugh and make it bleed

to read:

for uni:
wuthering heights - emily bronte
elephant - raymond carver
the mill on the floss - george eliot
madame bovary - gustav flaubert
a dolls house - herik ibsen (well re read)
saturday - ian mcewan

for me:
wicked - gregory maguire (about 1/3 of the way through)
son of a witch - gregory maguire
perks of being a wall flower (when i can find a copy that has all the pages)
the lovely bones
a clockwork orange
the catcher in the rye (i am determined to get through it god dammit!)
the other 4 or 5 books in my room i cant even think of

survivor -
choke -
lullabye -
snuff -
all by palanuik (or however you spell his freaking name)