was i disappointed you werent there?
or was i disapointed in myself for wishing you were there?

do i want to see you next week?
can i arrange that without chickening out?
can i survive that?!



the scariest part of my life is knwoign that most likely i will be faced with the c word at some stage, and not knowing if i have the strength to fight it

i write my suicide note in my head
individual letters to those who truely matter
i didnt think i could get back to this place so quickly

im the queen of liars
"yeh i made a few friends"
i dont fit in
im fromt he other side of the tracks.
i belong 3 hours away in a place i feel at home
not in a place i feel like im constantly in the wrong
im the quiet kid who needs people she makes sense to.
i havent had a full honest conversation int he last 2 weeks with anyone in person
i was taken aback that she knew my name because i am invisible